Relationship Strongholds

 

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Some people have stuffed animals, jewelry, trinkets, movie ticket stubs etc, that they hold on to that were considered sentiments of the relationship. I have Facebook pictures! I love social media. I think I might be slightly addicted. I naturally grab my phone without thinking about it and start to browse. As I’m writing this, I felt in my spirit that I need to naturally grab my bible more instead of my phone for Facebook. My ex boyfriend and parted ways almost a month ago after dating for a few months. I have pictures of my ex and I on Facebook, posing together when we were happily in love. I really never saw the need to remove these pictures since he and I didn’t end on bad terms and we’re still cool with each other. Plus a part of me was afraid he would see that I remove them and he would remove the pictures that he also had of us on his page. Looking back I think that was me still holding on to that relationship to a degree. Isaiah 41:10 says “Don’t worry- I am with you. Don’t be afraid- I am your God. I will make you strong. I will help you. I will support you with my right hand that brings victory.” (ERV In my mind, him removing the pics symbolized that he was truly moving on with his life.After all I wanted my presence to be known by the people in his life, including by any chicks that wanted to date him.

Although I felt I moved on with my life, I still wanted to have some sort of control over this situation. (I’m already in the process of working on becoming a woman that is will “submit.” I will discuss that in a later blog.) Well today I found out that one of my spiritual sister’s broke up with her boyfriend. This wasn’t advertised, so no one officially told me their relationship was over. I went to her Facebook page to see if this was true. I noticed all of the pictures she took with her ex boyfriend were gone along with the pictures she had of him in general. I thought to myself “she’s not playing. I wonder if this was bad breakup.” Then I thought “she wants nothing to do with him. She’s moving on with her life.” Then as I went about my day, God spoke to me in a subtle tone “how can you move on with the person I have for you, if you’re living in the past?” I felt God’s message pressing on my heart. Then God showed me where He was going with this message lol. He brought a memory to my mind. He reminded me of how I felt when I first met my ex boyfriend.

My ex and I met in a Christian group on Facebook. I remember looking through his pictures and seeing him kissing and hugged up with a woman. I automatically assumed he had a girlfriend. He used to send me inboxes trying to spark conversations with me, and I would give him short but polite answers. After all I thought he had a girlfriend and I am not the type of woman to play in another woman’s playground! I used to think to myself “why is this guy messaging me?” I was not interested at all! I often overlooked him and took my time responding to him. Well one day he decided to ask me if he could give me his number. I replied ”don’t you have a girlfriend?” I was annoyed by what I thought was disrespect. Not only was he trying to cheat on his girlfriend but he also didn’t hold me with high enough regards to attempt to have me as his one and only. I wasn’t trying to be somebody’s side piece! He then told me he was single. I asked him about the pictures of him kissing a woman. He stated she was his ex. So I asked him “why do you still have those pictures up?” He replied “I didn’t have time to take them down.” In my mind I was thinking, “He’s full of it, how long does it take to take down a few picture? He must not be over her. I have to proceed with caution.” I did inform him that he might miss out on a good woman by having those pics up because someone might see them and assume he has someone as I did, and they might keep it moving, never giving him the chance to explain. Within a few days those pictures were removed.

I didn’t understand why it took me bringing it to his attention for him to take down those pics? During our relationship I subconsciously felt he wasn’t over his ex. I didn’t realize it until we had several fights over me inquiring about her, and him getting angry. I used to think to myself “he isn’t over her that’s why he gets angry when I ask questions about her and never wants to talk about her.” I now realize that seed was planted from day one due to the pictures! Some might disagree but I now know him having those pictures up as if they were still together played a role in our ultimate break up which was labeled as lack of trust in him. God gave me this memory as a reminder. If He sent me the man He has for me, my king to be right now at this very moment, that man might look at my Facebook pictures and think I’m either involved or still have emotional ties to my ex. Either way it’s a bad situation and he would keep it moving! He would pass me up! No one wants to get involved with someone who has emotional baggage. I needed to remember how I felt in that situation. Deuteronomy 30:16 clearly speaks about listening to God to receive His blessing. “I command you today to love the LORD your God. I command you to follow him and to obey his commands, laws, and rules. Then you will live, and your nation will grow larger. And the LORD your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take for your own.” (ERV) Taking those pics down was a step to setting me free from that relationship stronghold. God is good. I’m so thankful he gave me that revelation. It hurt, but I consider myself to be like an onion. God is peeling away the layers, and making me into the woman He wants me to be for the man I will serve as a Help Meet someday. Just like when an onion is peeled, there will be tears but the end result will be with it. All I have to do is trust God. Be encouraged saints. Some people have stuffed animals, jewelry, trinkets, movie ticket stubs etc, that they hold on to that were considered sentiments of the relationship. I have Facebook pictures! I love social media. I think I might be slightly addicted. I naturally grab my phone without thinking about it and start to browse. As I’m writing this, I felt in my spirit that I need to naturally grab my bible more instead of my phone for Facebook. My ex boyfriend and parted ways almost a month ago after dating for a few months. I have pictures of my ex and I on Facebook, posing together when we were happily in love. I really never saw the need to remove these pictures since he and I didn’t end on bad terms and we’re still cool with each other. Plus a part of me was afraid he would see that I remove them and he would remove the pictures that he also had of us on his page.

Looking back I think that was me still holding on to that relationship to a degree. Isaiah 41:10 says “Don’t worry- I am with you. Don’t be afraid- I am your God. I will make you strong. I will help you. I will support you with my right hand that brings victory.” (ERV In my mind, him removing the pics symbolized that he was truly moving on with his life. After all I wanted my presence to be known by the people in his life, including by any chicks that wanted to date him. Although I felt I moved on with my life, I still wanted to have some sort of control over this situation. (I’m already in the process of working on becoming a woman that is will “submit.” I will discuss that in a later blog.) Well today I found out that one of my spiritual sister’s broke up with her boyfriend. This wasn’t advertised, so no one officially told me their relationship was over. I went to her Facebook page to see if this was true. I noticed all of the pictures she took with her ex boyfriend were gone along with the pictures she had of him in general. I thought to myself “she’s not playing. I wonder if this was bad breakup.” Then I thought “she wants nothing to do with him. She’s moving on with her life.” Then as I went about my day, God spoke to me in a subtle tone “how can you move on with the person I have for you, if you’re living in the past?” I felt God’s message pressing on my heart. Then God showed me where He was going with this message lol. He brought a memory to my mind. He reminded me of how I felt when I first met my ex boyfriend. My ex and I met in a Christian group on Facebook. I remember looking through his pictures and seeing him kissing and hugged up with a woman. I automatically assumed he had a girlfriend. He used to send me inboxes trying to spark conversations with me, and I would give him short but polite answers. After all I thought he had a girlfriend and

I am not the type of woman to play in another woman’s playground! I used to think to myself “why is this guy messaging me?” I was not interested at all! I often overlooked him and took my time responding to him. Well one day he decided to ask me if he could give me his number. I replied ”don’t you have a girlfriend?” I was annoyed by what I thought was disrespect. Not only was he trying to cheat on his girlfriend but he also didn’t hold me with high enough regards to attempt to have me as his one and only. I wasn’t trying to be somebody’s side piece! He then told me he was single. I asked him about the pictures of him kissing a woman. He stated she was his ex. So I asked him “why do you still have those pictures up?” He replied “I didn’t have time to take them down.” In my mind I was thinking, “He’s full of it, how long does it take to take down a few picture? He must not be over her. I have to proceed with caution.” I did inform him that he might miss out on a good woman by having those pics up because someone might see them and assume he has someone as I did, and they might keep it moving, never giving him the chance to explain. Within a few days those pictures were removed. I didn’t understand why it took me bringing it to his attention for him to take down those pics? During our relationship I subconsciously felt he wasn’t over his ex. I didn’t realize it until we had several fights over me inquiring about her, and him getting angry. I used to think to myself “he isn’t over her that’s why he gets angry when I ask questions about her and never wants to talk about her.” I now realize that seed was planted from day one due to the pictures!

Some might disagree but I now know him having those pictures up as if they were still together played a role in our ultimate break up which was labeled as lack of trust in him. God gave me this memory as a reminder. If He sent me the man He has for me, my king to be right now at this very moment, that man might look at my Facebook pictures and think I’m either involved or still have emotional ties to my ex. Either way it’s a bad situation and he would keep it moving! He would pass me up! No one wants to get involved with someone who has emotional baggage. I needed to remember how I felt in that situation. Deuteronomy 30:16 clearly speaks about listening to God to receive His blessing. “I command you today to love the LORD your God. I command you to follow him and to obey his commands, laws, and rules. Then you will live, and your nation will grow larger. And the LORD your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take for your own.” (ERV) Taking those pics down was a step to setting me free from that relationship stronghold. God is good. I’m so thankful he gave me that revelation. It hurt, but I consider myself to be like an onion. God is peeling away the layers, and making me into the woman He wants me to be for the man I will serve as a Help Meet someday. Just like when an onion is peeled, there will be tears but the end result will be with it. All I have to do is trust God. Be encouraged saints.

Some people have stuffed animals, jewelry, trinkets, movie ticket stubs etc, that they hold on to that were considered sentiments of the relationship. I have Facebook pictures! I love social media. I think I might be slightly addicted. I naturally grab my phone without thinking about it and start to browse. As I’m writing this, I felt in my spirit that I need to naturally grab my bible more instead of my phone for Facebook. My ex boyfriend and parted ways almost a month ago after dating for a few months. I have pictures of my ex and I on Facebook, posing together when we were happily in love. I really never saw the need to remove these pictures since he and I didn’t end on bad terms and we’re still cool with each other. Plus a part of me was afraid he would see that I remove them and he would remove the pictures that he also had of us on his page. Looking back I think that was me still holding on to that relationship to a degree. Isaiah 41:10 says “Don’t worry- I am with you. Don’t be afraid- I am your God. I will make you strong. I will help you. I will support you with my right hand that brings victory.” (ERV In my mind, him removing the pics symbolized that he was truly moving on with his life. After all I wanted my presence to be known by the people in his life, including by any chicks that wanted to date him. Although I felt I moved on with my life, I still wanted to have some sort of control over this situation. (I’m already in the process of working on becoming a woman that is will “submit.” I will discuss that in a later blog.)

Well today I found out that one of my spiritual sister’s broke up with her boyfriend. This wasn’t advertised, so no one officially told me their relationship was over. I went to her Facebook page to see if this was true. I noticed all of the pictures she took with her ex boyfriend were gone along with the pictures she had of him in general. I thought to myself “she’s not playing. I wonder if this was bad breakup.” Then I thought “she wants nothing to do with him. She’s moving on with her life.” Then as I went about my day, God spoke to me in a subtle tone “how can you move on with the person I have for you, if you’re living in the past?” I felt God’s message pressing on my heart. Then God showed me where He was going with this message lol. He brought a memory to my mind. He reminded me of how I felt when I first met my ex boyfriend. My ex and I met in a Christian group on Facebook. I remember looking through his pictures and seeing him kissing and hugged up with a woman. I automatically assumed he had a girlfriend. He used to send me inboxes trying to spark conversations with me, and I would give him short but polite answers. After all I thought he had a girlfriend and I am not the type of woman to play in another woman’s playground! I used to think to myself “why is this guy messaging me?” I was not interested at all! I often overlooked him and took my time responding to him. Well one day he decided to ask me if he could give me his number. I replied ”don’t you have a girlfriend?” I was annoyed by what I thought was disrespect. Not only was he trying to cheat on his girlfriend but he also didn’t hold me with high enough regards to attempt to have me as his one and only. I wasn’t trying to be somebody’s side piece! He then told me he was single. I asked him about the pictures of him kissing a woman. He stated she was his ex. So I asked him “why do you still have those pictures up?” He replied “I didn’t have time to take them down.” In my mind I was thinking, “He’s full of it, how long does it take to take down a few picture? He must not be over her. I have to proceed with caution.” I did inform him that he might miss out on a good woman by having those pics up because someone might see them and assume he has someone as I did, and they might keep it moving, never giving him the chance to explain. Within a few days those pictures were removed. I didn’t understand why it took me bringing it to his attention for him to take down those pics? During our relationship I subconsciously felt he wasn’t over his ex. I didn’t realize it until we had several fights over me inquiring about her, and him getting angry. I used to think to myself “he isn’t over her that’s why he gets angry when I ask questions about her and never wants to talk about her.”

I now realize that seed was planted from day one due to the pictures! Some might disagree but I now know him having those pictures up as if they were still together played a role in our ultimate break up which was labeled as lack of trust in him. God gave me this memory as a reminder. If He sent me the man He has for me, my king to be right now at this very moment, that man might look at my Facebook pictures and think I’m either involved or still have emotional ties to my ex. Either way it’s a bad situation and he would keep it moving! He would pass me up! No one wants to get involved with someone who has emotional baggage. I needed to remember how I felt in that situation. Deuteronomy 30:16 clearly speaks about listening to God to receive His blessing. “I command you today to love the LORD your God. I command you to follow him and to obey his commands, laws, and rules. Then you will live, and your nation will grow larger. And the LORD your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take for your own.” (ERV) Taking those pics down was a step to setting me free from that relationship stronghold. God is good. I’m so thankful he gave me that revelation. It hurt, but I consider myself to be like an onion. God is peeling away the layers, and making me into the woman He wants me to be for the man I will serve as a Help Meet someday. Just like when an onion is peeled, there will be tears but the end result will be with it. All I have to do is trust God. Be encouraged

(Originally Written on March 15, 2014)

-Kimberly L. Watts

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