When the enemy attacks your gift


This is my story:

Have you ever had moments when you’ve felt too discouraged to pray? Have you ever had moments when you’ve felt too tired mentally to pray, because you were asking for the same thing over and over again with no results? Have you ever felt too disappointed to pray because God didn’t answer your prayer in the way you would have liked Him to? Have you ever felt like God has forgotten about you, or He wants to help everyone else but you?

Well I know I have felt all of those things, especially in two specific areas on a constant basis for a few years now. I have felt that way when it comes to finding a job that makes me happy and when it comes to my love life. Lately the prayers for my love life have been outweighing my employment prayers. Maybe I have come to accept that my job situation is what it is.

But when it comes to my love life I continue to struggle. Being married (again) is something that I truly desire. I pray and pray and ask God to send me a mate, and I have ended up quite disappointed. Even when I start dating and asking God to make these relationships work, I end up quite disappointed because it seems the moment I start praying about them, the relationship somehow ends. All of this has turned into built up disappointment. I am guilty of feeling like God has forgotten about me, or feeling like God will answer the next person’s prayer but He won’t answer mine.

I started doubting my prayers. I felt discouraged when it came to praying for myself. It was so bad I would say things like “what’s the point in praying, my situation is what it is, and the more I pray the more I set myself up to be disappointed.” The problem with that is I am a praying woman. It is my gift. I am an intercessor. I serve on the Intercessory ministry at my church. I will go before the Lord with bold faith when it comes to praying for others, but I struggle when it comes to going before the Lord on my own behalf.

In my spirit I know this is wrong. God encourages us to pray, so why do I feel like it is a waste of time when it comes to praying for myself? There are sooooo many scriptures about prayer, so this is obviously something that is very important to God.

Philippians 4:6
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”

1 Thessalonians 5:17
“Never stop praying.”

Luke 18:1
“One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up.”

Colossians 4:2
“Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.”

James 5:13-18
“13. Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises.
14. Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord.
15. Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven.
16. Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
17. Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly that no rain would fall, none fell for three and a half years!
18. Then, when he prayed again, the sky sent down rain and the earth began to yield its crops.”

Jeremiah 29:12
“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.”

1 John 5:14-15
“14. And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him.
15. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.”

Those are just a few scriptures where the Bible is instructing us to pray. If we are feeling doubtful, discouraged, or have any negative feelings towards prayer we know based off of scripture that those feelings aren’t of God, and it is a clear indication that the enemy is trying to come in between our relationship with Christ. God revealed His word to me and showed me that I should never feel like my prayers are pointless or that it isn’t a good idea to pray. If anyone feels too discouraged to pray, it is best to go before God and tell Him what we are feeling. We need to keep it real with God at all times. When we express our feelings to God, that is a form of prayer. Prayer is simply having a conversation with God.

Scripture also tells us that “For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two- edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable. (Hebrews 4:12-13)

The enemy attacked my gift by attacking my prayer life. He may also be attacking your gift in another way. Don’t let him. I thank God for opening my eyes and helping me to see the tricks of the enemy. I can see clearly now, and whenever those negative thoughts come to mind, I go before the Lord in prayer and remember what His word says.

Your gift serves as a threat to him. If you are feeling doubtful with your gift, I recommend that you find scriptures that will encourage you to move forward. Scripture that will show you that God wants to use your gift for His glory and the advancing of His kingdom. We have got to learn to fight back instead of allowing the enemy to beat up on us. Stop living in fear, discouragement, anger, hurt, and negativity. No matter what happened in the past and what you think will happen in the future, we have got to learn to stand strong and know who we are in Christ. If you are confused as to who you are in Christ, simply ask God to show you… Be encouraged saints.

– Kimberly L. Watts


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